I’ve never really liked scary movies. To me, they are frustrating to watch. It never fails at some point there is a bad person chasing a good person, and it lasts forever! Over the years I’ve watched scary movies less often, but when I do happen upon one I find myself thinking the same thing each time I watch that chase scene…Just GIVE UP!
I know that must sound crazy. My husband says my fight or flight instinct is messed up. Maybe that is the case, but I see things differently. My instinct to give up comes from the fact that somewhere along the way I simply learned to accept that the outcome of all that running will be the same regardless of how long the chase scene goes on and it’s not worth the fight.
Not worth the fight? Yep. All the running, screaming, holding the door shut while the bad guy bangs on it, it’s predictable and so is the outcome. The bad guy gets the supporting character 99% of the time. Interestingly, somewhere along the way I adopted this attitude in real life as well. I began to see myself as a supporting character in life, so my response became one of a supporting role character. That conflict at work? Better find a new job because it’s not going to get any better. Friend upset with you? Apologize and move on because she isn’t going to see your side of the issue. Prayer not being answered? Well it must be a no, so stop praying for your heart’s desire God obviously doesn’t care.
When I’m being honest I’ll admit that part of my “flight instinct” likely comes from that fact that I’m weak. Some days it takes all my strength just to get out of bed. Hypothyroidism related exhaustion and muscle fatigue has left me physically weak, and somewhere along the way that translated to mental weakness as well.
I can’t pin point when I convinced myself that my life circumstances weren’t worth fighting for. I also can’t nail down when I convinced myself I was a supporting character in my own life. The most surprising thing I realized is that somewhere along the way I convinced myself that my choice to give up in a situation meant that God would also walk away. It seems silly if you think about it. My impatience, lack of self-worth or fear took over at some point and I gave God the human characteristic of apathy. The lies Satan whispered in my ear became truth and my perspective got skewed. Thankfully, scripture reminds us that God has a different fight or flight instinct that I do.
Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent.”
Deuteronomy 1:30 “The Lord your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes.”
Deuteronomy 3:22 “Do not fear them, for the Lord your God is the one fighting for you.”
In the last year I’ve focused on changing my view of God. I’ve been reminded that scripture doesn’t lie and it can always be used as a map to stay of the right path. I’ve seen firsthand 2 Corinthians 12:9 hold true. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” My hunger for my instinct in life circumstances to change from thinking “Just give up” to “Just pray, God is fighting for me”. My view of my personal situations is changing, and I know fight the lie that I am a supporting character. God sees all his children as stars and I am not an acceptation to that gift! I have to admit though, I still don’t like scary movies…all that running seems like a whole lot of unnecessary exercise. 😉
I’m linking up with #LiveFreeThursday! Head over to read what others are saying about giving up!