where I end and God begins

 

We are moving in a few weeks and we’ve gotten to the point in packing where if feels like there isn’t any more that can be done.  Not everything is in boxes, but with two weeks left of living to happen, not everything can be boxed up.

It’s a tense feeling for me, this in between time.  I know there is much to be accomplished, and yet it cannot be done.  This tension is one I’m becoming familiar with because it doesn’t just occur with moving to a new home.

Our season of life right now is a busy one.  With sons in multiple after school activities plus more than full-time work and ministry hours to be fulfilled the days are long and the weekends tend to blur into each other.  When I look at my calendar it always seems impossible that everything scheduled each week will work out.  With a packed calendar there is little room for error, and yet the reality of being human is that error fills most weeks.

Each week I look to eliminate.  What can be taken off the beam?  What can we say no to? There are always things that can be added, but I’m not physically able to accomplish everything.  This routine has birthed a new prayer.

God show me what to eliminate.  God show me what to prioritize. 

The tension of what to “pack away” and what to keep scheduled becomes comfortable when it is present by God’s guidance.  When the choice becomes a choice of surrender and obedience the tension becomes something to embrace rather than something to run from.

Life is full of opportunities to say yes or no.  When my answers are God ordained my calendar becomes filled with events that bring joy, laughter, and satisfaction. When I’ve done all I can to organize and micromanage my week and things don’t fit I know I’ve forgotten to pause and pray for God to be present and guide my “no’s”.

Packing up a house, even though it feels like everything that can be done has been accomplished the reality is every time I turn around there is another drawer or cabinet to be sorted through.  Half is purged the other half packed to be used in our new home.  When I have margin in my schedule to look around I often find the same to be true.  Part can be purged, and part needs to be saved for a future time and part needs to be used right away.

I’m linking up for #livefreethursday with Suzie Eller today’s prompt “when you’ve done everything you can”

2 thoughts on “where I end and God begins

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