The Comparison Game

Friday Night Wives Contributing Writer

I’m over at Friday Night Wives today writing about comparison.  Here’s a preview:

My husband’s aunt has, well, a specific pallet when it comes to recipes. While I try to stay within her preferred limits as often as possible, our family’s preferred zucchini preparation was well outside the lines. To my surprise, Auntie raved about this side dish and later called to ask for the recipe.

Grilled Zucchini:

Slice lengthwise

Add to taste:

Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Balsamic Vinegar (Fig balsamic if you can find it)
Grill until cooked, but still firm.

Auntie was surprised, but proceeded to inform me of her pending substitutions:

Auntie’s Version:

Place zucchini and in a skillet with butter and sauté.

Add to taste:

Red wine vinegar

I bet you can guess what happened next, right? A week or so later I received a call. Auntie’s recipe was disappointing, and she wondered where she had gone wrong.

Here’s the thing, she still thought her version tasted fine; it just wasn’t the same. And somehow that made it worse than my version

Read the rest here…

Finding Your Voice as a Coach’s Wife

I wanted to follow up on my podcast interview and offer a few ways you can begin the journey to find your voice as a coach's wife.

I had the privilege of chatting with Anne Marie Cross this past Sunday evening on her podcast The Christian Entrepreneurs Podcast.

We chatted briefly about my journey to finding my voice, and the process of learning pursue my passions. As you might imagine, it’s hard to concisely present a life journey and it’s something I continue to unpack every week. But today, I wanted to follow up on my podcast interview and offer a few ways you can begin the journey to find your voice as a coach’s wife.

Here are a few steps you can take to find your voice:

Accept Your Circumstances:


When I’m chatting with a coach’s wife there is one thing that sets an alarm off in my head without fail. It’s when that wife confesses that she feels trapped. Whether she feels this way because she can’t work in her preferred profession, or she can’t live near her support network, or her life stage is not where she wants to be, it all comes back to the same dangerous path because when we feel trapped we naturally look for a way out.

Here’s the thing, the journey to living your fullest life, within your calling begins with accepting your current life stage. God does not make mistakes and he is not waiting for you to achieve a specific life stage in order for you to be an effective light for him.

Focus on Self-Awareness:

Knowing who you are and why you respond the way you do it vital to living out your passions well. I believe this is best done by digging into who you are and how you are uniquely wired.

  • Love Languages
  • Enneagram
  • StrengthsFinder
  • Apology Languages
  • Spiritual Gifts
  • Meyers-Brigg
  • DISC

All of these tests will give you a window into how you perceive the world and what fills your love tank. For me, the Enneagram was the key that helped me to connect all the dots.

Be Realistic:

Once I had confirmed that I was doing things that were sucking the life out of me instead of filling me up I had to get realistic about what I needed to do to get where I wanted to go. I took a hard look at my calendar and commitments and came to the understanding that in order to do what I was passionate about well I was going to learn to say no.

I was so overcommitted that I was running myself ragged. Writing was the hobby that I rarely had time for, which is crazy because it is the thing that feeds my soul. I needed to feed myself so that I could begin to feed others better.

For some of you being realistic might mean that you have to accept that to do what you want to do you are going to need to go back to school and gain the right degree, or you are going to have to work remotely instead of having that corner office.

It might mean that you need to take a pay cut, or even volunteer for a while to build your resume. Sometimes being realistic means cutting through your pride and accepting life is going to move at a different pace than you prefer.

Tell Someone:

Once I had the ball rolling on a life path shift I needed to tell my husband what was going on because without his support I would likely run away when things got hard. More than that, I needed him to be in my corner cheering me on. Life is hard enough, there’s no reason to soldier alone.


One thing that happens through this process is that once people determine where they are going to put prayer on the back burner. For some reason, we forget that God is always in pursuit of a deeper relationship with us. What better time to learn more about how you were uniquely created than when you are living your best life using the voice your Creator gave you?

Prayer will keep you on this path and will give you the strength and discernment to use your voice the way God has designed you to do so.

Well, I hope this short overview provides you with a few action steps you can take to begin to find your voice. Just remember friend, your husband’s calling is important, and so is yours.


Top Ways to Support Your Favorite Coaching Family

I’m writing over at Friday Night Wives today!

Here’s a Preview:

One of the most amazing treasures a coaching family receives from their community is people who welcome them with friendship. Being new in town is always stressful. Even if you move every few years (or more often), it’s never easy to be the new family.

Coaching families need support even in the seasons where they win the state or national championship. If you are currently living several hours from your favorite coaching family’s newest team or are lucky enough to live down the street, there are specific ways you can let your favorite coach, his wife, and his kids all know you are cheering them on while they are in the midst of the crazy every season brings.

Read the rest here…