One of the hardest lessons I continue to learn over and over is that I will never succeed at trying to be all things to all people all the time. You may be thinking, of course, you can’t! That’s crazy! But as an Enneagram 2 my instinct is to help and as a coach’s wife, my instinct is to figure it out. So when our schedule is packed and that emergency comes out of nowhere, instead of asking for help my natural response is to step up and get things done.
I’ve learned that even though I may be able to do SOMEthing to help, it’s not always the BEST thing that someone needs. It’s usually best if I stay in my lane.
How to Stay in Your Lane
We all have a set of skills, gifts, and talents. We have unique knowledge formed from our life experiences and education. I’ve found myself in situations where because I am able to draw on a past experience a response in the present is exactly what someone needs.
There are also times where it’s best to defer to someone with more knowledge on a subject. Here’s a simple example. While I am a parent, when a friend asks for advice about their daughter I may not be the best person to answer since I’m raising boys.
We stay in our lane when we understand our strengths and weaknesses.
We stay in our lane when we pause to consider what others bring to the conversation rather than assuming the responsibility falls to us alone.
We stay in our lane when we trust that others will step in and fill the gap when we say no.
Consider Your Circumstances
One of the life experiences I am able to speak about is interracial marriage. The reality is, almost two decades later this is a subject I don’t mind to discuss, but I used to avoid it at all cost. But, we lived in a community where college students only had two or three couples to talk to, and they wanted to hear multiple perspectives.
So even though I would have prefered my conversations revolve around something other than race relations, it was clear God called us to a season of life where that was a part of our ministry. It is part of my lane.
The best part of staying in your lane is the freedom it brings to operate within your strengths and gifts. Don’t be afraid to say no. Acknowledge that there are other people better qualified to do some things. In the long run, it will be best for everyone. The reality is, as a coach’s wife you will always have a full plate. So take choose