Book Review: The Path Between Us

The Path Between Us :An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships is Suzanne Stabile’s independently written book following The Road Back to You, which she co-wrote with Ian Cron.

The distinguishing difference is that The Road Back to You is described as a basic primer that introduces you to each of the 9 basic Personalities while The Path Between Us goes more in-depth into how the numbers interact with each other.

What I found most valuable in each of the chapters was the breakdown of these sections:

  • Stabile highlights how each number responds in relationship to each other number
  • Stabile identifies how each number responds in stress and security
  • Stabile identifies each number’s limitations in relationship
  • Stabile identifies how we benefit from relationship with each number
  • In the last two sections, Stabile writes directly to each number and those in relationship with that number with simple prompts:
    • Relationships FOR a number
    • You can
    • But you can’t
    • You’ll need to accept
  • Relationships WITH a number features bulleted points to help someone who is learning how to interact with a certain number better speak their language. For example, “Encourage Sixes to trust themselves more and to take more (measured) risks.” “Point out all the good things they bring to a relationship.”

Relationships are challenging and if there is anything the past three to four years have taught us it’s that we can sit in the same room, listen to the same thing and comprehend completely different points. The enneagram is an excellent tool to help you understand how those you love, work with and interact with see the world.

Most importantly, the enneagram and The Path Between Us is an excellent tool to help you learn how to self-reflect and soften some of those rougher edges that others may not respond to all that well.

Stabile does an excellent job of sharing stories that are relatable even when she’s highlighting some of the stress responses. Her insights into the slight distinctions in numbers is very helpful if you are still trying to figure out your number or wing.

If you are someone who thrives on routine there are many numbers that you will identify with, but for very different reasons. These distinctions are important to note for yourself and as you strive to understand others.

For example: “Nines can easily fall into a routine and stay there without giving much, if any, thought to what might go wrong. Fives like routine because it helps them manage their limited amount of energy. Sixes not only like routines, they find safety in them. But what about numbers who don’t want life to be so predictable? For some numbers, freedom is as necessary to them as security is to Sixes.”

If you’re looking for a book to help you understand the enneagram I encourage you to consider The Path Between Us. It’s my favorite one so far.

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