During my book promotion series for Lessons from the Sidelines, I spent time with three amazing women Anne, Nichole, and Lori. Each of our conversations covered various topics. We spoke about the similarities in our lifestyles adjacent to the public eye. We also discussed the differences in our lives and the specific challenges we face, and how those are strengths.
As I explained to Lori, if she were to walk into a women’s Bible study along with Anne, Nichole, and myself, we would all attend for the same reason. Our desire would be first and foremost to study God’s word in community with other women. We may also be longing to build deeper friendships with other believers.
Despite these similarities, it’s been all four of our experiences that as soon as introductions begin and we introduce who we are married to there is an immediate siloing and distancing that happens. She’s “the pastor’s wife” or “the coach’s wife” or “the one who won’t be sticking around very long.”
We are More Than a Title
Community silos are disheartening for new people, and they extend our loneliness longer than necessary. We don’t have to be in community with people who are 100% likeminded to thrive! And we certainly don’t need to be afraid of the person who has just moved into our town even if her husband’s job traditionally is one where moves occur frequently.
One of the things you’ll hear in my conversations with these amazing women is the depth of passion we all have for pursuing who God has called us to be in all of our roles. Whether we’re focusing on our role as wives, mothers, or our careers, we want to glorify God every day. Another commonality is the desire to support our families as they pursue their passions and interests. These things aren’t attached to public titles!
I hope you’ll take time to learn more about the ways our lifestyles overlap as you listen to my conversations with Anne, a fellow coach’s wife as well as Nichole, a military spouse, and Lori, the wife of a pastor and partner in ministry.
Coaches’ Wives, Military Wives, and Pastor’s Wives
Anne and I are both coaches’ wives, although our experiences have some overlaps and many differences. We understand the calendar cycle of feast or famine on time felt a conviction to encourage wives to seize the day. We wanted you to hear that even in the middle of this crazy year, 2020 has the potential to allow new opportunities you wouldn’t have in “normal” years and we didn’t want you to miss out on what God might be calling you to pursue because it felt difficult.
Nichole and I could have discussed the challenges of supporting our kids through moving and new schools and dad missing important milestones for HOURS. Similar to Rebecca, who I interviewed for my book, Nichole also acknowledged the difficult decisions that need to be made when it comes to figuring out how to balance pursuing your own calling in its fullness and supporting your family as they pursue their individual convictions and passions. Check out Nichole’s business venture here.
Finally, Lori and I sat down for a conversation about how ministry is very difficult every day, but that is especially right now. The fishbowl feels even more distinct as the “Monday morning quarterbacks” are louder and more disgruntled and willing to voice their opinions about everything.
Lori isn’t allowing the negativity to impact her ministry. She is secure in her calling after a lot of work, mainly with Enneagram tools, and she is looking for ways to allow her children to thrive while also stepping into her personal calling. I know you will find this conversation encouraging.
As the wife of a football coach, Beth Walker encourages women whose families are in the public eye to pursue their own callings even as they support their husbands’ careers and ministries. Through her personal stories as well as interviews with other women who are also living just outside their husbands’ limelight, Beth shows it’s possible to do both.