After reading Everything Bitter is Sweet by Sarah Hagerty last November I decided My One Word for 2015 would be ADORATION. I also decided this would be my New Year’s Resolution, the only resolution, as a way to try to focus all my efforts on being successful.
First, why adoration? As I read EBIS in November Sarah Hagerty’s words resonated with me deeply. Her story of learning how to seek out God’s character was something I had been focusing on learning myself over the previous 6 months. I had been moving through the process of logically and factually seeking the characteristics of God for months, and as I pondered adoration, I realized it was the missing piece of the puzzle. Adoration cannot be done emotionless, and that was what I was missing. Emotion.
As I sit here, the Monday after Easter I can honestly say that my heart is fuller and lighter at the same time. Also, I have discovered my focus is healthier. I will write more about that tomorrow, but for now, I will say adoration allows me to keep God as God, and myself as human. Adoration has allowed me to embrace emotion. I am no longer working to keep God at an arm’s length for fear of being disappointed or wounded. By seeking to not only understand but worship God’s character in totality, I have begun to more deeply enter into the relationship that has been waiting for me all these years. As a result, I have found my human relationships have also developed new depth.
This is not today that diving into Adoration each day has been easy. There have been days where the attribute listed on my calendar (pre-written by Hagerty) has been an area I have haven’t wanted to explore or even surrender. For example, writing out “You are the God who hears and responds to my prayers” is hard when there are certain prayers hanging I often question whether God HAS heard. On those days I have discovered that writing out my adoration, reading the verses attached to it, and only admitting this is an area where my faith is weak has been in itself very healing.
I think what I would say 3 months in, is that walking through the process of daily adoration, not running even when it’s hard, has allowed me to handle hard things in a healthy way. It has allowed me to explore attributes of God not often spoken of. It has allowed me to take steps forward and embrace God more deeply.