One of the hardest lessons I continue to learn is that I will never succeed in trying to be all things to all people all the time. You may be thinking, of course, you can’t! That’s crazy! But the coaching life is sometimes all-consuming. And since coaching is a business there are times when I’ll step up and help do things to serve the team and staff and keep the team moving forward. When football and ministry overlap there are times when we run ourselves ragged trying to make sure all the bases are covered in a situation.
When our schedule is packed and an emergency comes out of nowhere, instead of asking for help my natural response is often just to move forward and figure out how to get things done.
While I can step in quickly and do something to help when I do this I often leap before I look. I’ve learned that even though I may be able to do SOMEthing to help, what I’m asked to do isn’t always the BEST thing for my skills and talents. It’s usually best if I stay in my lane.
How to Stay in Your Lane
We all have a set of skills, gifts, and talents. We have unique knowledge formed from our life experiences and education. I’ve found myself in situations I am able to draw on past experiences and empathize with some as they share a hurt or frustration. By sharing what I’ve learned, what helped, and what didn’t I can support someone as they figure out what’s best for them.
There are also times where it’s best to defer to someone with more knowledge on a subject. Here’s a simple example. While I am a parent, when a friend asks for advice about their daughter I may not be the best person to answer since I’m raising boys.
We stay in our lane when we understand our strengths and weaknesses and have enough humility to understand as a community we are strongest when everyone utilizes their God-give gifts and talents to the best of their abilities.
We stay in our lane when we pause to consider what others bring to the conversation rather than assuming the responsibility falls to us alone.
We stay in our lane when we trust that others will step in and fill the gap when we say no.
Consider Your Circumstances
One of the life experiences I am able to speak about is interracial marriage. The reality is, almost two decades later this is a subject I don’t mind to discuss, but I used to avoid it at all costs. But, we lived in a community where college students only had two or three couples to talk to, and they wanted to hear multiple perspectives.
So even though I would have preferred my conversations revolve around something other than race relations, it was clear God called us to a season of life where that was a part of our ministry. It is part of my lane. But it’s not the entirety of my abilities or interests.
The best part of staying in your lane is the freedom it brings to operate within your strengths and gifts. Don’t be afraid to say no. Acknowledge that there are other people better qualified to do some things. In the long run, it will be best for everyone. The reality is, as a coach’s wife you will likely always have a full plate. So choose