Adoration has been my focus this year. To spend an entire year with one particular word shaping interactions and focus can be a challenging thing. I specifically chose Adoration this year because I knew it needed to be a deeper focus area for me. I also knew that if I didn’t make it a focus area I would quickly slip into old habits.
Now that it is October and I have a clearer head I think it’s time to fess up. Over the summer I walked away from adoring God. In his newest book Glory Days, Max Lucado says that 11% of Christians describe their days as glory days. “Nearly nine out of ten believers, in other words, languish in the wilderness. Saved? Yes. Empowered? No. They waste away in the worst of ways- in the Land of In-Between.” Being honest means I have to share with you that this summer I was again stuck in the in between.
Moving as quickly as we did to the mountains meant leaving behind the house we had owned for about 10 years. We still own that house today, and although we have good renters who are taking great care of it, our former property manager had lead us to believe that our renters would be purchasing the house over the summer. I couldn’t help but count down the months and my hope soared with every tiny bit of news about the progress towards finally selling the house…..news that was all lies.
This house has been a source of anxiety, fear, frustration and bad memories for me. Distance has brought up old wounds and deep hurts and many of those memories are attached to our former house and town. The cruelty of a promise not kept was translated by me into a betrayal from God. Of course, it was no such thing, feelings betray us all the time, changing our perspective on the truth God lays right in front of us. The reality is, when we are wounded by someone it is hard to pay them a compliment, and adoration feels like compliments some days.
As I sat in the in between holding my breath wanting so desperately to have my most anxious and serious of prayers answered the lies from years past crept up. The voice in my heart told me God is not for you, He doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to provide for your needs.
“Storms are coming your way. Winds will howl, your boat will be tossed, and you will have a choice. Will you hear Christ or the crisis? Heed the promises of Scripture or the noise of the storm? Glory Days require an ongoing trust in God’s Word. Wilderness people trust Scripture just enough to escape Egypt. Canaan dwellers, on the other hand, make the Bible their go-to book for life. ”
I’m disappointed to tell you that just as Lucado describes the Israelites here, my faith these past few months has been one of just getting out of Egypt. Thankfully though, God is so much bigger than my human flaws. Even when I lost hope my Provider moved mightly. Our house is not yet sold, and it will be over a year before this process is completed at the minimum. Still, miraculously, financial stress has been lightened tremendously, we are now in an honest agreement, and God has proved yet again (although I in no way deserve it) He is FOR me, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
I’m striving these days to live the Glory Days and not to sit in the in between, the wilderness. For me, Adoration is a large part of that, just as being reminded by those much wiser than me that the Glory Days exist. Lucado shows us how following the example of Joshua will help us boldly live there.
In exchange for an honest review I was given a copy of Glory Days by Max Lucado for free from Book Look Bloggers. The opinions expressed her are my own.