moving – Lessons from the Sidelines

Tag: moving

Moving Resources- Here We Go Again!

Posted on August 1, 2017May 7, 2020 by Beth Walker

We’ve just completed our third move in four years. One of those was a local move, but it involved just as much work as the others. The reality is, if you stay in the coaching business long enough you will probably move a few times. I’ve gleaned some great tips from coaches’ wives over the years. I’ve also learned from our own experiences a few do’s and don’ts. Although those things are great, this post has a different purpose.

Moving Resources To Help You Keep Your Sanity

I’m going to divide this into sections. I’d love to add to this as new things become available so send me information if you notice I’ve missed something.

Packing

When it comes to packing many wives hang on to boxes to use the next time. Although I did this for a long time, I discovered that not all cardboard is the same. Some boxes collected mold. Others tear. Boxes at Walmart are less than a dollar a piece brand new, but there are many sources to find packing materials without spending much money at all.

Hospitals, grocery stores, big box stores, even dollar stores will often reserve boxes for you if you call ahead.
I’m a fan of plastic bins for odd shaped items and just to have on hand. After Christmas check the clearance section.
Bubble wrap is worth it. I purchased a large roll of bubble wrap, and we used it all. This was after we used all the towels and sheets wrapping fragile items.

Purging

Purging is almost a natural part of moving. At some point, you just get sick of packing and start throwing things away. Of course, all that junk needs a new home.

Schedule a pickup Many organizations will pick up your donations. Save yourself a trip and save your energy.
Mail your donations if I’m going to save a box it’s going to be one from Amazon because then I can mail my donations off for free. This system saves time and money!
Of course, you can always host a garage sale, but I find that when things need to sell, they rarely do. We were able to sell several pieces of furniture via Facebook with this last move, but I don’t think it would have been worth the hassle for toys, books, and clothes.
Finally, hand it down. We left our school gear at the football office for the next coaching staff to use. Hubs has a strict rule against wearing competitors clothing, so off it goes!

Moving Truck vs. Pods

There are a variety of options these days for moving. I’ve explored them all and the reality is storing items can be just as expensive as moving them. It’s often cheapest to do the entire move yourself. Driving a truck isn’t for everyone though.

Schedule the mail to be forwarded before you move: When we scheduled to forward our mail, we received a 20% off coupon for the moving company we’d already chosen. This saved us $200.

Movers vs. U-Pack

I learned a valuable lesson with this last move. When reserving the truck online one of the services offered was moving help with loading and unloading the truck. I was able to read reviews, compare prices and reserve exactly what we thought we would need. It was worth every penny.

10 college kids volunteering: Thank you tip ($20 a piece)+ pizza+drinks+ napkins+ plates ($50) + cost of repairing broken items not loaded well ($200) =$450 Additionally, this scenario lasted 6 hours.

2 Insured Movers for 3 hours= $186 plus tip (Remember, you just saved $200 by forwarding the mail 😉 )

Not only did the movers help us out with unloading the truck and placing boxes in the rooms we requested, but they also set up our furniture and helped me arrange the rooms with the remaining time. Yes, you read that right, in 3 hours we unloaded a 24-foot truck AND arranged rooms.

Another bonus was that our movers did the heavy lifting. After loading a truck in one day, then driving for 10 hours the next, the third day of unloading was looking bleak. Instead, it was my favorite part of the whole experience.

Car and Renters/Home Insurance Quotes and Switches

Probably my most dreaded part of any move is finding new insurance. Even when using the same company you will almost always need to deal with a new agent.

Chrinco.com is a new, web-based software that will do all the searching for you. The best part is that you can make sure you always have the best price by asking them to run your numbers every 6 months to year AND it’s FREE!

Company loyalty can be helpful with some companies, but it’s not always your best option. Look around, compare prices.

Magic Jack

We have a “landline” for our kids and the number moved with us. Although this makes for an easy transition for them, when giving out a number to their new friends a local one seemed like the best solution. For $10 and five minutes of your time, you can switch the number and continue to pay your $35/year for service.

Doctors

Many of you are lucky enough to have doctors with online medical record access already. This is our first time living in an area where this we have this luxury.

We called ahead and asked for our records to be printed and were told that this couldn’t be accomplished without a fee. A call to HR revealed that not to be the case and the CEO of the hospital instead handed us our records for free. This has taught me a valuable lesson. We keep a printed copy of medical records on hand at all time.

Here’s the glitch we’ve encountered in the system:

To establish health care, you need to have an initial appointment. Your former doctor can/will likely refuse to forward your records to your new doctor without the proper authorization…which can’t happen until the first visit. This wastes time and money since your new doctor can’t actually treat you for anything until they know your health history. Printed records allow for a productive first visit.

Banks

Online banking has become a huge convenience for those of us that move. Still, it’s not always as convenient as the banks would like you to believe. Limits on digital deposits, fees for ATMs, even limits on daily usage for debit cards can all hinder someone.

Ally Bank reimburses ATM fees, offers free checks that can be ordered at any time, and has a $50,000 limit per day on digital deposits. Goodbye headaches!

School Records

We intentionally moved over Spring Break this year giving us a week to acclimate to our new community before jumping into school.

Once we knew our new address I called the new schools and asked for all the forms I would need to fill out to be emailed to me.
I also called the schools we were leaving and asked them to go ahead forward the school records as soon as they could.

The day before we loaded the truck I received calls from our new schools with the name of our 4th grader’s new teacher and contact information as well as the first day of school information. It still took a few days after classes resumed for our middle schooler to start, but we were told we cut the process from a week to 10 days down to 3. For this Mama that was all I needed to hear to know I’d repeat this process every time.

Another bonus is that all the forms were filled out when I was calm and thinking clearly instead of exhausted and overwhelmed meaning the information was accurate. 😉

Community Events

Check the local park districts, YMCA, churches, and libraries in your new community. Depending on the timing of your move you may be able to sign the kids of up activities even if they start shortly before you arrive. Even if they never participate again, this will help your kids get to know people quicker as well as provide a bit of “normalcy” for them if they are having to say goodbye to a sports team, saying hello to another may be comforting.

Utilize Your Garbage Service

On moving day we had a significant amount of items that would not be going with us. Football players can be rough on furniture, and we ended up tossing couches, mattresses, broken items and many items we just hadn’t had time to get rid of.

I called ahead and scheduled a special pickup and informed our landlords what was happening. Instead of having to limit ourselves to a particular type of container we piled the trash high, left a spotless house behind, and sent a check for $30 later that month to cover the extra pickup.

There are great checklists for all the details surrounding the move on Pinterest. All the companies to remember to call, all the things to have in your car for move in day, and many other details surrounding your move. The information here is a compiled list of stuff I couldn’t find on other lists. I hope it is as helpful to you as it has been to us. And of course, while you wait for the next move…may the odds be ever in your favor. 😉

When Kids Say Goodbye

Posted on March 17, 2017February 22, 2020 by Beth Walker

Football and Family Coaches Wives are not single parents

This is our second major move with kids, which for 16 plus years of coaching is actually on the low side. That being said, this time around our boys are at the ages where they remember the last move and know a bit of what they will experience as the “new kid.”

I dropped off some papers with the school secretary and ran into a teacher. She stopped to tell me how sad she was to see us go, but also wanted to give me a heads up. Our son had written her a letter expressing his sadness and concern his friends would forget him. Of course, this broke my heart, but I understood it. The last move was several years ago, and memories weren’t as sharp. There is much that has been forgotten about our previous home, and the fear that will happen again is real.

Thankfully this teacher is a thoughtful person and has decided the class will write letters to ease the transition.

Saying goodbye is never easy, but when you aren’t at an age where you have Facebook, a cell phone or the means to travel independently, life can look a lot different regarding staying in touch.

Leaving always includes a mourning season. Watching our boys process this move has been hard for me. I want to take the sorrow away, but I know that they need to move through this in their own time.

In the process of saying goodbye our kids have been able to have sleepovers and time with their friends. This has certainly eased the sadness, but it also brings up new questions. Will I have friends in our new town? Who will they be? Will they like the same things I do?

One of the hardest thing we encounter as parents is the need to release our children back to God. To trust that God has our children’s best interest in mind when he calls us as parents to a new path is a daily surrender of my boys back to God.

As hard as it can be to move our family again, I’m comforted by the fact that God loves his children and seeks to draw us closer to him. God gave us our boys. He’s fully aware they move when we move. God is just as concerned as we are that our boys have friends that surround them with support and welcome them to their new home. He hears the cries of our son’s hearts even when they haven’t expressed them to us.

It is this knowledge that reminds me to let my kids say their goodbyes, to remind them that FaceTime and snail mail are real things they can utilize even today, and to pray for them a bit more intentionally in the months to come.

The Need To Knows Of Moving

Posted on March 14, 2017February 22, 2020 by Beth Walker

It’s moving week in our house which has me thinking only of all the things that still need to be accomplished. Boxes are half packed and spread out through the house, the freezer has been thawed and the fridge is down to bare bones.

As we prepare to move into our new community I was lucky to have a great network of people I could reach out to within the American Football Coaches Wives Association to ask questions of. regarding the area. We’re familiar with our new town, but that didn’t mean we knew the details.

The reality is that websites aren’t going to be able to tell you everything about a community. A certain school may be ranked lower than another when in reality they are fairly equal. One area of town might look desirable online, but not be a great fit for your family. Landlords certainly aren’t all equal and we’ve had great ones and terrible ones. A landlord can really make a difference in your quality of living, so it’s important to research, but also seek out the experiences of others.

As my list of things we will need to know has continued to grow I thought I’d post it here for future reference and for those who will encounter moves of your own. This list is one I ask several people. When I hear the same answer from more than one person then I tend to feel even more confident about it.

This isn’t an exhaustive list and not every person will be able to answer all the questions. Still, when heading to a community, my experience has taught me that knowing these things will help you settle in more quickly.

Questions to ask when moving to an area:

Are there any areas of town with higher crime incident rates, or areas which are difficult to get to?

Are there any companies that should be avoided when looking at rentals or home ownership?

Family Dentist

Family Doctor

Endocrinologist (specific to me)

Trustworthy car mechanic

Trustworthy car dealer

Dry cleaners

Haircut

Tell me about your church?

How are the park district programs?

What other “must do” activities do you look forward to each year?

What are some of the community traditions that make it unique?

How do you get the best grocery deals?

Favorite restaurants?

Favorite teachers?

Let kids ride the bus or drive them to and from school?

Which library do you prefer and why?

Good luck to those of you in transition, I’m ready to put this one behind us and settle in.

The Goodbye Challenge

Posted on March 3, 2017March 14, 2020 by Beth Walker

Our son shed his first tears last week regarding our impending move. I knew it was coming, he’s been talking about “next year” increasingly, and the unanswered questions were hanging above our heads.

On the way to school, I reminded the boys that they didn’t need to explain anything to their teachers, that we’d take care of it. The review mirror revealed a face that was fighting to stay stoic. “What’s up Bud?” I asked. “Are you feeling sad?”

After gathering himself, he gave me the best answer I could have hoped for. “I’m in between. I don’t want to stay, but I don’t want to go.”

I understood exactly what he was saying. Any transition can be hard. For such a young person to have two significant moves within four years was asking a lot as a parent. The difference between my perspective and that of my son was that I knew more of the story. It’s hard to leave the past, regardless of how bad it is, for an unknown future.

The Bible is full of God calling people to move before the details were known. Hebrews 11:1-3; 8-10 points to the faith that was needed.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the men of old gained approval. By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible.

By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; or he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

One thing I know about God is that the longer I walk with him, the more of his character I see revealed in my life circumstances. The journey God has called our family to walk has been similar the journey others have taken before us. God understands our fears and concerns. He isn’t angry about our emotions, but just like Abraham, he is calling us to deeper faith by asking us to obey him.

As much as I ache for our sons to have to move from their home again, leave their friends again, and start over…again, I also know that they are going to have an amazing time in our new community. They will be able to have new experiences they wouldn’t have where we currently live. They will have a different relationship with family than they currently do because we will be so much closer in proximity.

The unknowns will still exist after this move is complete. How long will we stay? Who will our friends be? How will our ministry unfold? How will God reveal himself to us?

Experience has taught me that God’s plan will become clear when he is ready for us to see it. Experience has also taught me that God will carry us closely in our transition. Romans 8:27-28 are the words of the apostle Paul. Paul was also called to step out in faith. His reminder to Christians still is true for us today.

and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;

I’m so excited to see all the good God has in store for my sons through this transition. I know that as they walk forward through their fears, they are building memories of experiences where God carried them through hard times. There are many things that coach’s kids experience that can feel unfair. My prayer is that this journey will be one my sons remember because what they don’t know yet is that as the release a mediocre past an amazing present and future that God has orchestrated for them is there for the taking and that is a life lesson they can carry with them.

Moving Tips

Posted on January 27, 2017February 22, 2020 by Beth Walker

Well in the football world wives all over the country are packing up houses, hunting on Zillow and putting in requests for school and medical records. It’s that time of the year and as we are filling boxes ourselves I’ve realized I’m much more organized this move than in the past. Seventh time’s the charm?

Purge

In the early years of football, I spent every August purging the house. I found it not only kept me busy during camp, but it was a great time for a garage sale. This time around we got the whole family involved because we had a deadline. With the end of the year approaching quickly I was motivated to get as much out of the house as possible.

We went through books, the kitchen, clothes, toys, games, and storage. I’d created a fairly large pile at some point in the summer, so we pulled that out of the basement and added to it. After we had brought everything out and itemized it we consolidated it and let it sit for two days. Then, I went through everything one more time. We added to that pile and by the end four SUV’s full of times were out of the house.

Purging doesn’t just need to include things you no longer use. This time around we are getting rid of two dressers, two couches, a desk, and a large storage unit. The furniture is currently being used and has served us well. It will take up a significant amount of space on a moving truck and it’s no longer in the best condition.

If my calculations are close we’ve downsized by an entire room so far, and there’s at least one more round to go.

Donate

Although the extra cash from a garage sale is always nice in the middle of a move it’s not always the best option. Our last out of state move I scheduled a huge garage sale and it ended up raining. I was stressed and giving away things by the end. This time around I’m not dealing with a garage sale.

As we dropped off a set of dishes a woman was walking up to the GoodWill. She saw us pull them out of the car and got on her phone. Those dishes went straight home with her. The smile on her face was awesome.

Color Code

Boxes can get jumbled whether you move yourself or have movers handle things. A strategy that works for us is to organize boxes by duct tape color. I taped all the boxes that needed to be grouped together with the same colors. Then, each area was designated with the color. Purple for our bedroom, blue for the boys. Toys were blue with mustaches, green for the kitchen. It didn’t matter who had a box when people pulled stuff off the truck everyone knew where things went.

**This strategy works best when you know the layout of the house you are moving into.

As you try to use everything in the pantry it can make for some pretty unique meals. I’ve found that Pinterest can turn scraps into a feast. We’ve discovered new favorites with this strategy!

Boxes, Boxes and More Boxes

It’s never enough. Every time you turn around there will be more to pack. Every drawer you swear you’ve cleared will behold surprises. You will need multiple sizes of boxes, sturdy ones at that. We’ve collected Rubbermaid bins along the way just to keep the need for so many boxes down. This move will likely increase our tub collection, but it won’t be enough. We will need boxes! Head to the hospital, grocery store and local businesses. Paper boxes and produce boxes are my personal favorites.

Hang in there Sister! You will be settled again soon, and then the fun of putting things away begins.

Thankfulness In A Season Of Transition

Posted on November 18, 2016March 14, 2020 by Beth Walker

November is a tense month in the world of college football. With seasons wrapping up many coaches will be fired, a large amount of them on a day known as Black Monday in our football circles. This part of college coaching is so common that many wives keep a stack of moving boxes in their basements, preparing for their next transition.

The anticipation of being fired can be just as stressful as knowing you will be moving on. In some cases even more so. Imagine walking around for weeks not knowing if the next time your husband calls you, it will be to tell you he no longer has a paycheck coming in.

Stress can lead to dominant emotions of anxiety, frustration, and anger. When we live in seasons of the unknown for extended periods of time science reveals our body physically responds with an increased risk of hypertension as well as sleeplessness, TMJ, and loss of hair. In a season of stress, it can be hard to remember there are many things to still be thankful for.

The apostle Paul experienced seasons of deep stress in his life. At first glance, it might not seem like Paul had a rough life, but in 2 Corinthians 11:23-27 Paul recounts his journey in his life preaching the gospel:

“in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.”

I show this list not to shame anyone, but to add perspective to the next passage in Philippians. Paul was tortured and imprisoned, and yet he was still able, while in prison, to remind his friends where their focus should remain.

Philippians 4:4-9 “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things and the God of peace will be with you.”

In the midst of a stressful season, it is gratitude which will dissolve disappointment. It is God who will cover us with his peace and help us to have a deeper perspective. Paul laid out a specific plan of action we can take when a season of transition leads to stress, fear, or feelings of abandonment.

Be anxious for nothing

Pray about everything

Ask with a thankful heart

Guard, your heart, and mind against lies, instead focusing on God’s words

Focus on that which is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, with good repute, and excellent, worthy of praise.

You might be thinking “Oh sure, it’s simple, just don’t be anxious!” with an incredibly frustrated tone. 🙂 I’ve lived out unknown situations, and I can tell you that when you choose to say, “God I focus on you and nothing else.”, He will cover you with his peace. Paul knew what many needed and still need to learn. Thankfulness adds perspective to any situation and turns our eyes, ears, and heart towards God.