The last few months of the year are tense for coaching families. With fall seasons wrapping up, many coaches will be fired. “Black Monday” in college football circles can make for a solemn Thanksgiving as families wait to hear from administrations unwilling to sour their own holidays with unpleasant conversations.
This part of coaching is so common that many wives keep a stack of moving boxes in their basements, preparing for their next transition. Even now, years after our last college position, our basement is stacked floor to ceiling with Rubbermaid tubs.
The anticipation of being fired can be just as stressful as knowing you will be moving on by choice. In some cases, even more so. Imagine walking around for weeks not knowing if the next time your husband calls you it will be to tell you he no longer has a paycheck coming in.
Stress can lead to anxiety, frustration, and anger. It can strain friendships and marriages. When we live in seasons of the unknown for extended periods, our body often physically responds with an increased risk of hypertension as well as sleeplessness, TMJ, and loss of hair.
Our focus in seasons of stress often turns inward. It can be hard to remember there are still many things to be thankful for, even in the unknown.
The apostle Paul experienced seasons of deep stress in his life. In 2 Corinthians 11:23-27, Paul recounts his journey in his life preaching the gospel:
“In far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.”
I show this list not to shame anyone who is struggling to feel thankful, but to add perspective to the next passage in Philippians. Paul was tortured and imprisoned, and yet he was still able, while in prison, to remind his friends where their focus should remain.
Philippians 4:4-9, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things and the God of peace will be with you.”
Amid a stressful season, gratitude can help dissolve disappointment. It is God who will cover us with his peace and help us have a deeper perspective. Paul laid out a specific plan of action we can take when a season of transition leads to stress, fear, or feelings of abandonment.
Be anxious for nothing.
Pray about everything.
Ask with a thankful heart.
Guard your heart and mind against lies instead of focusing on God’s words.
Focus on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, and excellent, worthy of praise.
I know, you might be thinking, “Oh, sure, it’s simple, just don’t be anxious!” with an incredibly frustrated tone. But I’ve experienced unknown situations, and I can tell you that when you choose to say, “God, I focus on you and nothing else,” He will cover you with his peace. Paul knew what many needed and still needed to learn. Thankfulness adds perspective to any situation and turns our eyes, ears, and hearts toward God. Be encouraged friend, even in this potentially stressful season, God is with you.
As the wife of a football coach, Beth Walker encourages women whose families are in the public eye to pursue their own callings even as they support their husbands’ careers and ministries. Through her personal stories as well as interviews with other women who are also living just outside their husbands’ limelight, Beth shows it’s possible to do both.
Great point Brook!
my husband is self employed so he’ll probably never get fired – but his paycheck is comprised 100% of commission. no sale, no pay-day. it can be very difficult to trust in uncertain times, but HE always proves Himself worthy.
Ask with a thankful heart. So challenging. Prayer is often a struggle for me. To pray with a thankful heart as if the prayer is already answered is a practice in faith and gratitude. Thanks for linking up, Beth!
Paul’s life is always such an exalted example for us. Can you imagine going through so much hardship and still remaining faithful? Why is it that we go through so much less yet often feel like giving up? Timely reminder!
Amen!
And here I was thinking that I was living through so much stress. What I’ve been going through is nothing in comparison to Paul’s list above. It really is about bringing our thoughts into subjection to the authority of Christ, and if He says, “Be thankful in every situation,” then I should say, “Yes sir!” Now to implement the needed efforts to effectuate change. May the Lord help us daily.