When Kids Say Goodbye

Football and Family Coaches Wives are not single parents


This is our second major move with kids, which for 16 plus years of coaching is actually on the low side. That being said, this time around our boys are at the ages where they remember the last move and know a bit of what they will experience as the “new kid.”

I dropped off some papers with the school secretary and ran into a teacher. She stopped to tell me how sad she was to see us go, but also wanted to give me a heads up. Our son had written her a letter expressing his sadness and concern his friends would forget him. Of course, this broke my heart, but I understood it. The last move was several years ago, and memories weren’t as sharp. There is much that has been forgotten about our previous home, and the fear that will happen again is real.

Thankfully this teacher is a thoughtful person and has decided the class will write letters to ease the transition.

Saying goodbye is never easy, but when you aren’t at an age where you have Facebook, a cell phone or the means to travel independently, life can look a lot different regarding staying in touch.

Leaving always includes a mourning season. Watching our boys process this move has been hard for me. I want to take the sorrow away, but I know that they need to move through this in their own time.

In the process of saying goodbye our kids have been able to have sleepovers and time with their friends. This has certainly eased the sadness, but it also brings up new questions. Will I have friends in our new town? Who will they be? Will they like the same things I do?

One of the hardest things we encounter as parents are the need to release our children back to God. To trust that God has our children’s best interest in mind when he calls us as parents to a new path is a daily surrender of my boys back to God.

As hard as it can be to move our family again, I’m comforted by the fact that God loves his children and seeks to draw us closer to him. God gave us our boys. He’s fully aware they move when we move. God is just as concerned as we are that our boys have friends that surround them with support and welcome them to their new home. He hears the cries of our son’s hearts even when they haven’t expressed them to us.

It is this knowledge that reminds me to let my kids say their goodbyes, to remind them that FaceTime and snail mail are real things they can utilize even today, and to pray for them a bit more intentionally in the months to come.